The Perfect Hispanic

In my English class, we started talking about diversity. We began the discussion by reading "Girl" by Jamaica Kincaid (a how-to on being the perfect girl). I decided (mostly because it was assigned to me by my teacher)to write a poem in the same style as Kincaid's poem. However, instead of writing about being the perfect girl I decided to write about being the perfect Hispanic. Being a Colombian/ Puerto Rican mix, I know that not all Hispanic people act this way but I am also aware of the fact that many other people perceive us in the way I describe in my poem. It is not fair at times but what can you do, life is not fair.


This is how your hair should curl; always dress provocatively; this is how fast you should speak when you get really excited; this is how tough you should talk so nobody messes with you; you must give everyone an attitude; this is how you speak in Spanish para que nadie sepa que estas hablando de ellos; this is how you steal another woman's man; this is how you dance to salsa; this is how you should dance to merengue; always listen to music; this is how loud you should talk when trying to speak over your Dominican best friend; this is the type of slang you use to represent your home country; never use the slang from another person's country, they won’t stop rubbing it in your face; you must always add ito at the end of all of your words (for example, regalame un poquitico de cafe por favorsito) that is how all true Colombians talk; scream at the top of your lungs to speak to the person sitting next to you like the Dominicans; where a sombrero like the Mexicans; this is how much rice you eat on a daily basis; never eat any bland food; never become a vegetarian or else you’re going to starve; never sit down at a party because everyone will make fun of you; always watch about 10 telenovelas in a row; you must always watch Laura (female Jerry Springer) every night and laugh like crazy when your friends imitate the insane guests on the show;this is how heavy your accent should be when trying to speak English; always love your home country; always get mad when someone calls you Mexican when you’re clearly not; never go to sleep early because there is always a party; you must always stay up really late getting drunk with your friends and family; always get mad when someone insinuates you are illegal; always get along with everyone who speaks Spanish; always spend time with your family especially on the holidays; always be really dramatic even when you don’t have to be (it’s more fun that way); the most important rule of all… never be afraid to speak your mind.